Mike's musings

Ska-ed for (everlasting) life

I couldn't resist the pun. Or the addition. I'm sorry.

I'm not much of a devotee of Christian pop/rock at the best of times, but this has opened my eyes. There's a whole new subgenre that I'm suddenly interested in exploring. I'm wondering if we can book them for our next Family Eucharist. Or whether I can do a stealth booking for Gary's church.

Labels: church, humour, music

I spy, with my little eye...

... something beginning with "buh" (me).

Bong? (Jo)

(Whoops...)

... something beginning with "cuh" (Moo)

Kraftwerk? (Jo)

(In fact, we suspect she said "craftwork", but we were both seriously impressed with our daughter's nascent musical interests.)

Labels: Jo, music

More retreat

(backposting) There are (as I've already mentioned) lots of services on the retreat. Four today: Morning Prayer (0800), Holy Communion (1200), Evening Prayer (1800) and Night Prayer (Compline), following an address at 2000. There's lots of space during the day to do your thing, and as well as reading some trashy novels to relax, I've also been doing some interesting theological reading. I have to note that the Homilies have got some pretty anti-Romish sentiment in them.

Anyway, to get back to the point, with each service there's a hymn or song. Luckily, there are two of us who play, and from very different backgrounds. I'm taking the standard traditional-type hymns, and Geoff has been handling the "songs", or less traditional ones. He's a star. Jazz piano where he comes from, and his "Amazing Grace" was brilliant, and gave me a chance to have a seriously good sing.

Although I'm very aware that life isn't easy for Moo when I'm away like this, but I think it's really important to take the time to concentrate on the ordination, and the journey that I've had getting there, not to mention taking some time to allow work to dissipate a little.

Labels: music, ordination, services

Good idea

Jo in the bath: Mummy, will you sing me the song about the dead people?
Moo (also in the bath): what?
Jo: the one with with the dead people.
Moo: what do you mean?
Jo: about going to sleep.
Moo: do you mean a lullaby?
Jo: yes. About the dead people.
Moo: ah. It's not _really_ about dead people.

It turns out she meant Kate Rusby's beautiful Who will sing me lullabies. I probably didn't need to explain about the subject matter when it came on the CD in the car the other day.

Jo came through with Moo as I was putting Miri to bed, singing quietly to her. "Good idea," said Jo.

On the subject of music, I thought that Jo was fond of music, but it's nothing to how Miri feels about it. She'll sing along to anything: dance, play, clap, everything. In fact, if you want to make her happy, put some music on your mobile phone, change it to loudspeaker, and let her hold it. You'll be handed it back from time to time, but not for long. Favourites range from Finzi's "God is gone up" to Messiaen's "Dieu Parmi Nous" via some bluegrass and the Benny Hill chase music "Yakety Sax".

If you don't know Kate Rusby, take the time to listen to some of her music. Here's another beautiful but devastating song: My Young Man. It's got a brass band on it, so it pretty much _has_ to be great.

Labels: music

The Choir

We watched the last episode of The Choir on BBC2 tonight. They performed in the Albert Hall.

From time to time I watch something like this, and feel the applause washing over. It's like a drug, and I can't believe I don't have it anymore. I cried.

Labels: music

"A frustrated professional musician"

(backposting) A very interesting URC worship service in the morning, then more work on the music, including a discussion. It was wide-ranging, but we got quite hung up on the question of how to reconcile the desire for the highest quality music (and worship for God) with the wish to include people of varying abilities. I really struggle, these days, with singing in Christmas choirs, and decline the invitation, usually. I don't mind listening, but there are times when I want to create the very best I can. I struggle with the fact that it's difficult to explain that I feel pain when not worshipping to the best of what I can achieve, just as someone may feel pain when they feel excluded from music making. Brenda, a professional musician on the course who will give up a large part of that when she's ordained, discussed this in some depth with me, and it was she who said "you're a frustrated professional musician".

I think she's right. Although I made a very conscious decision not to become a musician, and I think it was a good one, there come times in our lives when we realise how big those decisions were. I have very little opportunity for high-standard music-making at the moment, and I really miss it: particularly when I _do_ get the chance, which I have done on this course, in particular with the madrigal group. I really don't think I realised what good musicians we were at King's, and actually how good a musician I have the capability of being, thanks be to God. But it's a burden, too...

Had feedback on my service yesterday morning from Cathy, on the staff. Very helpful, and generally positive, which I'm pleased about.

A discusssion on the church in "cyberspace" (yuck), at which we talked at length about SecondLife and the Anglican Cathedral there. People raised some very good questions, quite a few of which I had no answers to.

Final rehearsals for tomorrow's Review...

Oh, and Andrew and I saw a Merlin today, which had killed and was protecting a dead blackbird. What a privilege!

Labels: ERMC, music

"Bring your Methodist Worship Books"

(backposting) I had, over the past few days, announced rather too often (4 times?) over meals that people should remember to bring their Methodist Worship Books to Morning Prayer, and had started to be mocked for it. This, however, didn't bother me, and when it came down to it, there were lots in evidence, so it had worked. So there.

I was leading the service, and had rehearsed "Ghimel" (just the title, not the main bit) with the same group of singers for the madrigals, which we performed in the ante-chapel just before starting the service. We did well, apart from my screwing up a lead. Oh, well. I'd decided to make the service about affirming vocation, as this was half-way through the week for some of us, but only a few hours in for the new first years, and everyone was a bit shell-shocked. We had the Commissioning of Aaron and the "Holy Nation, Royal Priesthood" piece from 1 Peter, and during the intercessions, I encouraged people to pray for themselves chiefly, as we have lots of prayers for other people, but not always enough for ourselves. I asked people to stay at the end for some organ music, and hit them with the last 3 minutes of "Dieu Parmi Nous" by Messiaen, which always blows me away. Not everyone liked it, but everyone who I spoke to seemed to have engaged with it.

After breakfast, we had an excellent session on Visual Arts through the ages by a visiting speaker, Neil. I ended up next to a student with a significant visual impairment, and as pictures came up on the screen, tried to describe what I was seeing. It was fascinating thinking about how all she could see (with the exception of a few pieces of work like a couple of Rothko paintings) was what I described to her, and it really made me think about what I was seeing in a new light. She said that she learnt lots about me, which was unsurprising!

In the afternoon, a session learning "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" with a bunch of singers of various abilities, ready to discuss the process tomorrow. Course photograph after supper, followed by a pub quiz. Our team won. Big surprise, but lots of wine as a prize. All gone within the hour...

Labels: art, ERMC, music, worship

Music, new students

(backposting) The theme for much of today was how the Gospel and music have inter-related through Western culture over the ages. The day started with a BCP Mattins led by someone who'd never done one before, and had only participated in BCP services on ERMC weekends and summer schools: it's just not his tradition. He did a fantastic job, and I enjoyed the service very much. This rather set the tone of the day: lots of music and discussion about it which was great. We watched an excellent DVD about Bach (J.S.), with lots of excerpts, very well performed, and I really felt at home. The discussion we had later included a number of short pieces from the group, including Iain's wife, Beth, singing and playing a lovely song that she wrote herself, and which we listened through twice as we were so moved by it. It's on a CD of music performed by Westcott students, and I'd like to get a copy of it.

The new students arrived today, and one of them, Celia, is ex-Cambridge, and knew a bunch of King's choral scholars who I also knew or knew of. Lots of shared history, including the Chetwynd Society (debating or drinking...?). Hmmm!

Labels: ERMC, music

Sunday, the day of rest

(backposting) Not if you're on an ERMC summer school, it's not! A Methodist communion - wow, all those little cups of non-wine! - at 0730 (ow!), then breakfast, then more discussion on films. After that, another Ian and Richard double-act, this time discussing post-Christendom. Have to admit that I had a bit of a dose through some of this, as the historical stuff wasn't new to me.

Free time in the afternoon - again, laughable, because there was more choir rehearsal. Much, much better, the Tye, and ready for performing at this evening's worship.

In the afternoon, a session on literature, which focused rather oddly on A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, which I'm afraid I hadn't got round to reading (I wasn't alone). Lots of education on post-structuralist and deconstructionist theory, which should be a good underpinning for the rest of the week.

At one point, one of the students, who's firmly from a more evangelical tradition than me, said, "As a Christian theologian, we accept the authority of the Bible...", and I took it up with him later on. I absolutely can't make a blanket statement like that. I have to look at any such acceptance, _particularly_ of the Bible, critically, and when it comes down to it, I find that it's my faith that is the bedrock of my Christianity, shored up by the Bible, and not really the other way round. This isn't a new thing for me, and it's an issue that I grapple with, but it's one that I'm very happy that I _do_ grapple with. It's one of the concerns I used to have about how many scientists at university took to evangelical Christianity: when they're so used to probing and questioning in their own lines of work, how can they be so uncritical in just accepting the Bible (and a rather narrow set of interpretations thereof)? An _uncritical_ sola scriptura just doesn't hold it for me.

The Tye went well, despite a missed alto entry, which we salvaged quickly, and no-one was the wiser. I was very pleased, and lots of people said how much they'd enjoyed it: both choir and congregation.

Labels: bible, ERMC, music, worship

Postmodernity

(backposting) A large part of the week's work is to be engaging with issues of postmodernity in its various flavours, so Ian and Richard started us off with general descriptions of the (alleged, in Richard's case) state of postmodernity. Richard is very eloquent, and refuses to believe that there's any such thing, despite taking many intellectual positions which are hard to imagine being possible in a non-postmodern world. It doesn't help that he tends to argue against what he sees as postmodernity: as a completely pluralist, non-critical academic movement, which believes in a clean break between the modern (then) and postmodern (now), despite this being almost the exact opposite of how most people with a postmodern bent would describe it. Heigh-ho. I refused to get too drawn in...

In the afternoon, another Ian, this time for the Moot community, gave us a very interesting talk on Fresh Expressions of church, and how they relate to our current (overwhelmingly consumerist) society. He made the point that we should really be talking more, and preaching more, about the dangers of consumerism as a creed, which I have to say resonated with me strongly. In the afternoon, Cathy led us in a discussion of high and popular culture. Although it didn't grip me, we came up with some important points, and it's to be a theme of the rest of the week.

The evening held clips (one clip from the body of the film, then crucifixion and lead-up) from three films about Jesus - or not. They were:

• The Gospel according to St Matthew (English title), by Pasolini
• Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ
• Monty Python's Life of Brian

Although I know the third, I'd never seen any of the others, and they were certainly thought-provoking (though I'm unconvinced that either Jesus or Pontius Pilate spoke Latin with a modern Italinate accent...). I'm glad to say that we didn't watched the 7 minute scourging scene from the Gibson version, which is supposed to be extremely harrowing.

We started singing today: a piece of Christopher Tye, which went pretty well for a first off, though the tuning was shocking. That'll fix itself as people get more happy with the notes, I think. We had a good mix of singers, including some new faces to the group, which was excellent.

Also started singing some madrigals - hope to do them at the Review.

Labels: ERMC, films, music, postmodernity, singing

Essay writing

I'm about 2000 words (excluding quotations, references, etc.) into a 6000 word essay I'm writing on the question "What insights can the Orthodox tradition give us on music as a response to God?" for Helen at ERMC. It's going OK, and I think I'm about at the right point for where I've got to in the examination. I've tackled one hard bit - rather poorly for now, but I hope to improve it - and the really difficult bit is coming next. I'm being helped by listening to Cloudburst and other choral works by Eric Whiteacre. Very uplifting, very stirring, very calming in about equal measure. A must to listen to on a regular basis for me.

I'm going to have a quick read over my notes for the next section of the essay before heading down to be with Moo. I hope (and suspect) that having a night to think things over and mull quietly will bring things into more focus.

Timing not great in that I've got a new computer (in bits) arriving tomorrow, and you just _know_ which task will win out...

Labels: ERMC, essay, Moo, music

Assignment finished!

Several months late (though I had an extension), I've finally handed in my second Life and Service module assignment: an analysis of my local church. Rather thought-provoking, actually, and harder than I thought it was going to be.

I've also started on the next piece of work: something on music and liturgy - in the broadest sense, so including pastoral work, and how we use, and could use, music. I'm really liking the Orthodox views here, which I'll expand on at some point. It's giving me a great excuse to list - and listen to - some of my favourite music. Downloaded a recording I didn't have of New College under Higginbottom singing Byrd 4-part and the Tallis Lams. Fantastic.

Wii latest

Moo's got into it now, and all we need to do is get Miri to sleep before we play against (and it's _always_) against each other.

My Wii fitness age is down from 45 to 41. _Better_, but still.

Labels: ERMC, music, wii

Back from Sweden

...where I've been for a couple of days. Helen, from ERMC, sent me a good "Make Music to Our God: how we sing the psalms" by Reginald Box SSF. Quite interesting - not many sections about how we listen, and the transcendence of the experience, though some. Box is very much interested in how to get congregations singing the psalms - my background is more in the tradition of having only a choir singing, but he had some points, and some good ways to encourage this that I really liked.

Theologically, I can see good reasons for congregational involvement in music in worship, but I think there are also times when just listening allows for the highest quality of music to be offered to God, by a trained choir. And although lots of people find this style of worship hard to take, for many others it's a way that helps them to reach closer to God.

Labels: music

Good Friday

(backposting) For me, this is the most theologically charged day of the Christian calendar. For reasons not worth enumerating, I knew from early in the day that I wasn't going to get a chance to go to a church service, which was difficult. I managed, however, to find 20 minutes or so to sit down with my laptop and listen to Tallis' "Lamentations of Jeremiah", streamed from home. We need to take the spiritual comfort we can, when we can, and this saw me through.

We had a good day, and the evening's meal ended up with my trying to explain the intricacies of the Anglican hierarchy to the assembled throng -

• Mac: I don't see why we don't just call all priests "vicars"
• Me: For the same reason that we don't call all doctors "GPs"

- and then talking about vocation - mine, and others. It was interesting, and an important part of my ministry, I think: to be open to the questions and probings of those around with little faith or none, but at least showing an interest.

Managed to make the end of a party in SecondLife to mark the opening of a new area for faith groups called Koinonia. Only stayed for a while, but caught up with a few friends, listened to the live music, etc., so at least I made an appearance.

Good Friday - some theology

Looking back on this post, I thought that I ought to spend a little time talking about why Good Friday is so theologically charged for me. There are other candidates, of course: Christmas, when the Word was made Flesh and dwelt among us; Easter, when Christ rose again from the dead in glory; Pentecost, when the disciples, remaining behind, unsure and leaderless, were gifted with the Holy Spirit and given a reality to their commission. These are the most obvious, but for me, it has to be Good Friday. Without the death of Christ on the cross, none of the rest of it would make sense, or have any substance. It is the rending of the curtain of the temple, the destruction of the split between heaven and earth, the kenosis, the moment when, in death, Jesus, a man, suffered and became Christ, our God. I should qualify that last statement: I don't mean that Jesus was not God before his death on the cross - that way lies heresy! - but that this moment is where the reality is revealed, the single moment of history on which the rest of the created order turns.

Easter is now possible: Christ, the propitiation for our sins, can rise in glory (but what a tear-obscured rising in the garden!). Christmas suddenly makes sense: there is a reason why God has made an appearance. And Pentecost is where we, God's church, need to take over the witness.

Jerusalem, Jerusalem: convertere ad Dominum Deum tuum.

Jerusalem, Jerusalem: turn to the Lord your God.

Labels: Christ, death, music, party, secondlife, theology

Take me back moment

Just had one of those "ooh, that takes me back" moments. I'm listening to Chrissie Hynde singing "Hymn to Her" with the Pretenders, which I bought when I was much younger as a 7" single. I suppose it was part of my introduction to feminism and strong women. Weird how these things find you, isn't it?

LET ME INSIDE YOU
INTO YOUR ROOM
I'VE HEARD IT'S LINED
WITH THE THINGS YOU DON'T SHOW
LAY ME BESIDE YOU
DOWN ON THE FLOOR
I'VE BEEN YOUR LOVER
FROM THE WOMB TO THE TOMB
I DRESS AS YOUR DAUGHTER
WHEN THE MOON BECOMES ROUND
YOU BE MY MOTHER
WHEN EVERYTHING'S GONE

AND SHE WILL ALWAYS CARRY ON
SOMETHING IS LOST
BUT SOMETHING IS FOUND
THEY WILL KEEP ON SPEAKING HER NAME
SOMETHINGS CHANGE
SOME STAY THE SAME

KEEP BECKONING TO ME
FROM BEHIND THAT CLOSED DOOR
THE MAID AND THE MOTHER
AND THE CRONE THAT'S GROWN OLD

I HEAR YOUR VOICE
COMING OUT OF THAT HOLE
I LISTEN TO YOU
AND I WANT SOME MORE
I LISTEN TO YOU
AND I WANT SOME MORE

AND SHE WILL ALWAYS CARRY ON
SOMETHING IS LOST
BUT SOMETHING IS FOUND
THEY WILL KEEP ON SPEAKING HER NAME
SOME THINGS CHANGE
SOME STAY THE SAME 

Thanks to this site for the lyrics.

Labels: music, women

Africa and mission

(backposting) I really thought I wouldn't find this topic very interesting, but, on the contrary, it was fascinating. We had someone called Emma come to talk to us, and she had lots to share (as did Richard, one of the tutors on the course). The last session was on what we can learn from modern African churches, and we had some interesting discussions on dialogue, and when we should challenge - and not just "counter-challenge" for its own sake. I argued strongly that we should stand up and disagree when we find ourselves at odds with theology such as the "Prosperity Gospel" or that which Archbishop Akinola tends to espouse on homosexuality. There was some disagreement, but I think less when I explained that "challenge" meant, for me, dialogue, and not just expounding a difference of opinion.

Had discussions with Holger (afternoon) on where I am in the course, illness, etc., with Edward (late afternoon) on placements - he agrees that a hospice seems a good idea - and Helen (in the bar in the evening) on the piece of work I'm doing on music. I'm planning to meet Helen the week after next to spend some more time on this.

I've spent the time here wearing a rainbow badge and a rainbow wristband, to show LBGT (Lesbian-Bisexual-Gay-Transgender) solidarity. Several people asked about it, a couple of people asked for one (I'd brought some spares) who I wouldn't have expected to, and a couple of people I'd not have expected to be "pro-" turned out to be. I feel pleased to have stood up to be counted, and intend to continue to do so at the residentials.

As I'd had a bit of a sleep in the afternoon, I decided that I'd stay up a little later, and left the bar at 2300 or so, having watched a good deal of the lunar eclipse. Below, you'll see two pictures of ERMC students and staff (including the principal) worshipping observing the moon during her eclipse.

Labels: ERMC, mission, music

Magnificat

"He hath showed strength with his arm..." - thank you, Herbert Howells (St Paul's service). Just doing my 10 minutes in front of the (muted) TV. Mary really had some things to say - not that Simeon didn't, of course.

I was back at work today, and got lots done, although my voice still isn't entirely sorted. I was supposed to have a supervision with Keith today, but he's not well either, so we've postponed for a while.

Forgot to post yesterday that we had a midwife visit yesterday. Yet another midwife - we've had very little continuity this time, but it doesn't bother us particularly. On her advice, we're off for a check-up at Colchester Hospital on Wednesday. They're not particularly worried, but the deal is that if you're measuring more than 3 weeks off what your expected size is, you're supposed to go and have a check-up. Jo was big, too, but not as big as this one. Moo's 32 weeks now, and measuring 39. No wonder people are asking her how long she'll be at work for - and that she's beginning to get more uncomfortable.

A good friend of mine from school emailed me today to catch up. We've talked a few times over the past couple of years. She suffers from mental illness (there are more people around who do than you might expect), and not all of her family know. She has a supportive husband, though. I'm really pleased that she keeps in touch - she was such a good friend at school, and one of those people it would be a shame to lose touch with.

Labels: friends, Mary, Moo, music, pregnancy

A tortured soul

No, not mine, I'm pleased to say. I thought I'd try to do my 10 minutes of devotional music today (as per my Lenten resolutions), and decided to listen to a little Gesualdo. He was a fascinating man - and, indeed, a tortured soul - and his music is at times heart-breaking. Just the stuff for Lent, so I'm sitting here with the Antiques Roadshow on mute in the background, typing and listening to "Ave Regina Coelorum" at the moment. I may have problems with some of the theology behind much of the Marian devotional music from the Roman Catholic church, but fewer problems than I did, and it doesn't stop the music from moving me.

I had a chat with Edward from ERMC tonight, about placements. It seems that things have gone rather quiet, so he's picking up the baton. There's a problem with finding anything on the mental health side, where I'd been thinking about spending my non-ecclesial (or social) placement, and we've decided to look instead at a placement to do with death and dying - an area where I have very little experience, and which I'd already identified as needing work. We're going to see if we can find a suitable funeral directors or hospice who might take me on. I'm very happy about this, and look forward to seeing what we can sort out.

Went to church (Communion) today for the first time in weeks - I've been away, or ill, or both, and missed out, which I've not been happy about. Dad, Kate and I all went to the 0800 BCP service at Great Yeldham, which I was very pleased to have made. All in all, it's been a more theological weekend than I'd expected. Partly because my Dad, my Mum and Kate all read the draft of my personal assessement - which I'll also be discussing with Keith tomorrow, hopefully. They asked some interesting questions, and I feel that I've managed to make pretty much all the points I'd wanted to make in it. We also spent some time over supper and before discussing who we'd have on our "5 people for Lent" list (which I blogged on yesterday). This led to some interesting suggestions, including Judas (!), Luther, Pope John-Paul I (not the second), Bill Shankley, Rafa Benitez, Kevin Keegan (the last three from Mac, my father-in-law), Gerald Manley Hopkins (yeuch!), John Donne, Shakespeare and Johnny Cash. I urge you to try it with your family and friends - it was quite an interesting exercise to find out what people think that they _should_ be doing, and what they ought to saying!

Labels: death, ERMC, Lent, music

Voice

It's gone again. B*gger.

Had a cup of tea with Dorothy, Keith's wife, and whispered at her. Then went for a drive and visited the churches of Belchamp Otten (darling little cheery organ) and Belchamp St Paul (a jewel of a high Anglican parish church). In the former, played "My Song is Love Unknown", "Sleepers Wake" (Wachet Auf) and "The Day Thou Gavest", which cheered me up no end.

Labels: music

Work on music

I finally started getting down to some work on a special mini-course that Helen's working out with me. I'm going to be looking at how music and liturgy and transcendence work together. I've started by getting a bit of a feel for how music fits into Orthodox Christian liturgy - including downloading some Russian and some Greek Orthodox liturgical music (legally) - and also having a start on music in Coptic and Ethiopian Christian liturgy. I even found some videos on youtube which gave a really good taste for how it can be used. Here's one clip, of a Coptic service. The music is overlaid, but is beautiful, and you can also see how the service works.

Labels: liturgy, music, orthodox

9 hours

(backposting) Nine hours of driving in the end. No voice. Listened again and again to this piece of music (no video).

Not this recording (a better one than here, IMHO), but still. I listen to it and wonder how someone could hear it and _not_ believe. It's by Olivier Messiaen, and is called "Dieu Parmi Nous" (God Among Us"), from "La Nativité du Seigneur" ("The Nativity of the Lord"). It's long, but oh, so worth it.

Labels: belief, music, spirituality, transcendence