Mike's musings

A funeral

(backposting) Today was Mo's send-off. She was a lovely lady: honest, bubbly, strong, imposing, and her funeral was great. I did the prayers, and got some good feedback on them, but the whole service was fantastic. Mo had insisted that that people wear bright clothing, and they did: hats, dresses and even a Hawaiian shirt. Clergy were in white stoles: our most brightly coloured ones. It was a glorious service, and the coffin was taken out to "Lord of the Dance".

A joyous occasion.

Labels: funeral

Remembrance Day

Our first parents' evening, more work, and preparing the prayers for Mo's funeral tomorrow. The latter went well, and I'm pleased with them. They raised a few tears, but it's better now than during the service. She specified that she wanted bright clothes, people are going to wear hats, and the bells will be rung out unmuffled. It should be a great occasion.

The work went well again, so that's good.

The parents' day? Well, she's a very clever little thing, is our Jo, and her teacher is pleased with her progress. She can be a little silly - we've seen that, too - but she's made amazing progress since she started school about 8 weeks ago. We're very proud, and if I carry on, it'll just be boasting.

Labels: funeral, jojo, work

Death

(backposting) About a month ago, the wife (Mo) of my incumbent (John) was diagnosed with aggressive liver and bowel cancer. It became clear a couple of weeks ago that the chemotherapy wasn't going to work, and they'd already ruled out surgery. Over the weekend, she'd moved into a hospice, and last night, around 1900, with John and her son at her bedside, she died in her sleep.

Mo was a vivacious, joy-filled woman who wouldn't let you get away with anything. She was challenging, and full of love, and was held in very high regard and affection within the parish. I've not been able to talk about her illness until now, really, as it's been a private affair, and I've known somewhat more about the progress of the disease than I've been able to share.

John has been brilliant, and the wider team and parish have supported him as best we can. I've been in London most of the day, but managed to pop in to see him, give him my love and assure him of my support this evening, before heading off to a supervision with Geoff, who's taken over the training role for the meantime.

The supervision was useful and interesting, and there was time for good reflection on some of the aspects of the Mo's illness and how it's affecting us all. A long day of honest work, crowned with the knowledge that I'll be able to make Mo's funeral, as I'm not in Finland next week.

Labels: death, funeral

Funeral

I attended - but didn't take - a funeral today. A mother and wife, 43, kids 5 and 7. It was a very moving service, with a packed church: it was standing room only with 20 minutes to go before the start. The father's a friend, which is why attended. The priest took a very good service indeed, with a good mix of solemnity, respect and humour.

And I spent much of the rest of the afternoon what I'd do if Catherine didn't come up the drive, and it was a police officer at the front door, instead.

Labels: funeral, love

The funeral

So, the funeral was today. In the end it went better than it might have done. These things certainly aren't easy, and this was particularly hard because the husband of the lady whose funeral it was had died on Tuesday. So, very difficult for the family. I didn't preach as well as I would have liked - I think the theology could have been firmer - but the service went well, and hopefully it helped. That's what the ministry is about.

Labels: funeral, ministry

Difficult news

(backposting) Not for me, but to me, if you see what I mean. I'm due to be taking a funeral service at a crematorium on Thursday, for a a fairly elderly woman who died before Easter. Her daughter, who's been arranging everything, phoned me this morning to tell me that the husband (widower) died today. It's going to make for a very difficult service for the family, and I'm thinking (and praying) very hard about how to manage things. God will provide.

On a happier note, I walked for around 4.75 miles today, at an average of over 5.25 mph. I'm chuffed.

On a less happy note, Liverpool lost to Chelsea in the second leg of the European cup. Darn.

Labels: football, funeral

My first funeral

(backposting) I'd arranged a while ago to be on holiday, and then discovered that Moo hadn't (a communications breakdown somewhere), so when I was asked to take a funeral, I agreed. Although I've attended a few, this is the first that I've taken, and I was quite nervous. I won't go into details - I don't think it's appropriate - but the lady had been a cook and loved dancing - as well as a glass of wine after a meal - so I talked about her life, and the reflected on the place of food, drink and dancing in the Bible, and given a bodily resurrection, we can expect to enjoy the same in heaven. We then journeyed to Chelmsford crematorium for the committal. It all went very well, and I was very happy with it. It was a real privilege, as I've said before.

Labels: funeral, holiday

Interment

Today I took some time in the middle of the day and did my first interment of ashes, in Halstead cemetery. It was quick, and a real privilege. The enjoyment I get from these ceremonies has been a real surprise to me, and I'm really looking forward to my first funeral on Thursday.

In work news, I'm doing some interesting work about securing machines in a new way. Not something I can talk about, but that's fun, too.

Labels: funeral, security

First funeral

Next week, I'll be doing my first funeral. I'd taken Thursday off, but Moo hadn't, due to a misunderstanding, and so when a funeral came up, I agreed to take it. I've attended a funeral and a service at the crematorium, and a number of other services in previous contexts, and it's time.

Interesting stuff going on at work, too, which is good.

Labels: funeral

Aunty Kitty's funeral

(backposting) We left around 0900, and got to Liverpool a couple of hours later. We met at Karen and Paul's house: I'd met him before, but not sure about her. They're lovely, the two kids we met were both great, too.

When the funeral cortege arrived, Jo - to whom we'd explained about the funeral being about saying goodbye to Kitty - had lots of questions. Really good questions for a three year old, I thought. She wanted to know what was in the box (coffin): "just Kitty's body: she doesn't need it anymore". "Why doesn't she need it anymore?" "When will we see her body?" "Why's that lady walking in front of the car?" This about the funeral director, who, it being Liverpool, walked the first 100 yards and the last 100 yards of the journey in front of the hearse. I explained about tradition, and Moo and I talked about the importance of ritual. Much of the funeral ritual that's common in Liverpool is pretty alien to me, and doesn't really do much for me, but it _does_ for other people, particularly Kate in this case, and if that's what's needed to help people say goodbye, then that's fine. It was really helpful for me, actually, from a ministerial point of view, to learn this.

The funeral was quick, and Kate managed admirably with the eulogy, and we headed off to the cemetery for the burial. The free church minister who'd taken the funeral said a few words at the graveside, a few people said a few words, and Jo - who, like all of the kids, was a paragon of good behaviour throughout - blew some bubbles over the grave, which was lovely. I'd been pretty anti having her put anything in the grave: despite what I've written above about ritual, I don't like the imagery of putting things in a grave as if they're needed, or might be going somewhere.

We had a meal afterwards, and then Moo drove us to East Leaek with Kate in the back with the girls. I had a bit of a sleep, had a cup of tea, said goodbye to the girls, and drove home. Pretty tired when I arrived.

Labels: family, funeral, ministry