Mike's musings

Lenten service

I took a Lent service at noon today. Half an hour: I chose to talk about forgiveness, how hard it is, and how God will understand if we can't forgive. I based it around a guided reflection on Jesus' words on the cross: in particular his "forgive them, for they know not what they do", and his telling John and his mother to consider each other mother and son. I also used the Ravensbruck prayer, in which the woman who wrote it never says that she forgives those who have caused the suffering of her and those around her, but asks God to consider the good that has come of suffering. Apparently, the prayer was left next to a dead child, and we don't know whether the woman was Jewish, Christian, or of another faith, but it's one of the most powerful prayers I know, and very difficult to pray. I was nearly in tears, but I think it's important to be honest about our emotions, whether we are clergy or not, and a number of people commented positively on my openness. Anyway, enough of me: here's the prayer:

"O Lord, remember not only the men and women of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all the suffering they have inflicted on us, remember the fruits we have bought, because of this suffering - our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown out of all of this, and when they come to judgement, let all the fruits we have borne be their forgiveness."

Labels: curacy, Lent, service

Ash Wednesday

(backposting) Today is the first day of Lent. I forgot, of course, to mention that we had pancakes for supper last night with the girls. Anyway, back to Lent. I'm not a big fan of giving things up for Lent (though I've done it in the past), but more of changing things in your life. I'm going to try to spend less time sitting in front of the TV playing games on my iPod, when I could be reading theology or Trollope. The latter may seem odd, but I've never read Barchester Towers before, and I'm really enjoying it: not only is it funny (very), but I'm learning lots about the state of the Church of England in the 19th Century.

I took part in two services today. I took an early lunch break, and participated in a school service, and in the evening, I took part in a service. In both cases, I took the deacon's role, and both of them were the Holy Communion with ashing. I've only attended one ashing service before, and I really enjoyed it. I was leading the prayers of penitence in the evening one, and realised as we were getting towards it that it felt wrong to ask the congregation to kneel and pray if I was sitting or standing behind the altar, so I went round in front of the altar and led the prayers from there. Luckily, John, who was leading the service, was happy with it, and I felt it worked very well. James preached an excellent sermon on "time", which I enjoyed very much.

Labels: diaconate, Lent

Ash Wednesday in SecondLife

I didn't get a chance to attend a service today, but happened to log into SecondLife 15 minutes before one of the ministry team was due to start a service, so I stayed around.

I'd forgotten what a powerful service you can have around Ash Wednesday, and this was one of them. I listened to the Allegri Miserere and Tallis Lamentations in the background and found myself in tears a couple of times. I spent most of the service on my knees: it just felt right.

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem: convertere ad Dominum Deum tuum."

God, yes.

Christ, yes.

Labels: Lent, secondlife

A tortured soul

No, not mine, I'm pleased to say. I thought I'd try to do my 10 minutes of devotional music today (as per my Lenten resolutions), and decided to listen to a little Gesualdo. He was a fascinating man - and, indeed, a tortured soul - and his music is at times heart-breaking. Just the stuff for Lent, so I'm sitting here with the Antiques Roadshow on mute in the background, typing and listening to "Ave Regina Coelorum" at the moment. I may have problems with some of the theology behind much of the Marian devotional music from the Roman Catholic church, but fewer problems than I did, and it doesn't stop the music from moving me.

I had a chat with Edward from ERMC tonight, about placements. It seems that things have gone rather quiet, so he's picking up the baton. There's a problem with finding anything on the mental health side, where I'd been thinking about spending my non-ecclesial (or social) placement, and we've decided to look instead at a placement to do with death and dying - an area where I have very little experience, and which I'd already identified as needing work. We're going to see if we can find a suitable funeral directors or hospice who might take me on. I'm very happy about this, and look forward to seeing what we can sort out.

Went to church (Communion) today for the first time in weeks - I've been away, or ill, or both, and missed out, which I've not been happy about. Dad, Kate and I all went to the 0800 BCP service at Great Yeldham, which I was very pleased to have made. All in all, it's been a more theological weekend than I'd expected. Partly because my Dad, my Mum and Kate all read the draft of my personal assessement - which I'll also be discussing with Keith tomorrow, hopefully. They asked some interesting questions, and I feel that I've managed to make pretty much all the points I'd wanted to make in it. We also spent some time over supper and before discussing who we'd have on our "5 people for Lent" list (which I blogged on yesterday). This led to some interesting suggestions, including Judas (!), Luther, Pope John-Paul I (not the second), Bill Shankley, Rafa Benitez, Kevin Keegan (the last three from Mac, my father-in-law), Gerald Manley Hopkins (yeuch!), John Donne, Shakespeare and Johnny Cash. I urge you to try it with your family and friends - it was quite an interesting exercise to find out what people think that they _should_ be doing, and what they ought to saying!

Labels: death, ERMC, Lent, music

Journey through Lent

From Sally's blog: "As we take the beginning steps of our journey through Lent, who would we take as a companion? Name five people, real or imaginary, you might like to have with you as guide or guardian or simply good friend."

• John Calvin: I think he was a fascinating theologian, and is much maligned. I think part of the problem he had was that he had too much faith in human nature. I'd be very interested to spend some time with him talking, debating, and learning.
• Alasdair MacIntyre: I've read some of his theology, and it's very good: really based in the social, which resonates strongly with me.
• William Byrd: for the music, always the music.
• Archbishop Rowan Williams I'd like to talk and debate and pray about the issues of homosexuality in the Communion, and how it fits into the broader picture. I'd take Archbishop Peter Akinola as an alternative, if Rowan's a bit busy.
• Moo: as a Christian: I don't know if it'll ever happen, but it would be great.

Labels: Lent, theology

Bits and pieces - 2 and Lent

(backposting) The big news of the day is that today is Jo's 2nd birthday. Moo had to spend 5 minutes convincing her of this when she woke up, as we seem to have been saying for ages that it was coming soon. She finally got into it, however, and had lots of presents and cards to open, so she's been a very happy girl today. She was very good at saying "thank you" on the phone to various people, as well, which made us very proud.

I did some work today, as I've been feeling better, and had some voice. A few calls with a customer, and a few emails. I'm still not 100%, but definitely feeling better than I was. Let's hope this continues. I also got close to finishing my personal assessment for the year. This is important, as it goes to the bishop to check that all's on course for ordination, and to help in the selection of my title post (where I'll spend 3-4 years after I'm ordained, which is planned for Spring - well Petertide, actually - next year). I've printed off a copy for Keith to look at to see if he's got any comments or other thoughts.

Lent starts today. Moo asked me if I'm planning to give anything up. I'm not. I've got two resolutions, which are quite timely: to look after myself a little better, and to try to listen to some devotional music (whether classical or not, whether "officially" devotional, or just devotional for me) every day. That's what I need in terms of formation at the moment, I think.

Labels: Jo, Lent, work